[Song Meaning] Stop This Song by Paramore

Hai! Udah lama banget ga nulis di blog ini. Tiba-tiba aja dapet ilham buat balik nulis lagi, meskipun ga pake bahasa inggris lagi kayak posts yang sebelumnya. Let me underline this, aku memperbolehkan diriku buat nulis dengan bahasa apapun, yah daripada blog ini tambah dipenuhi sarang laba-laba. Iya ga?

Kali ini maafkan aku kalo comeback post ini malah jadi sesi bergalau-galau ria. Habis gimana, emang galau beneran. Pikirku daripada menuh-menuhin beranda fb dan timeline twitter orang, mending nulis di blog sendiri. Trus sekalian curcol, aku juga mau share interpretasiku terhadap satu lagu Paramore. Jadi mudah-mudahan, para fans Paramore di Indonesia yang mungkin ga paham makna dari lagu ini, bisa sedikit dapet pencerahan dari sini. Kalopun ngga, maaf deh ya. Kan emang niat awalku juga buat curcol, hehehe.

Lagu ini judulnya Stop This Song (Lovesick Melody). Bagi yang belum beli original copy keempat album Paramore, emang ini ga masuk di album manapun, karna ini bonus track dari album Riot!. Meskipun cuma bonus, lagu ini ga bisa diremehkan loh. Mungkin aku ga terlalu bisa mengomentari perihal komposisi musik, tapi dari segi lirik lagu, bisa dibilang kreatif banget. So relatable! 

Ada dua pemeran di kisah ini, yang cewek --anggep aja-- namanya Hayley, yang cowok Josh. atau kalo kalian merasa pas banget cerita cintanya sama lagu ini, sok diganti namanya masing-masing. Yang penting bukan namaku sama namanya dia. 

Stop This Song (Lovesick Melody)

You say the sweetest thing that I can’t keep my heart from singing

Along to the sound of your song, my stupid feet keep moving

Josh suka ‘ngerayu’ Hayley, rayuan semacem “kamu cantik, kamu manis” atau bahkan bilang “aku mulai suka sama kamu”. Hayley terhanyut sama rayuan itu, dan percaya kalo Josh ngasih harapan besar.

With this 4/4 beat I’m in time with you,

With this 4/4 beat I would die for you

Hayley udah nyaman banget ada di deket Josh yang ngisi hari-harinya dia, yang ngasih perhatian lebih setiap waktu. Sampe Hayley ngerasa sayang banget dan stuck sama cowok ini.

(Someone stop this song)

I’ve gone too far to come back from here

But you don’t have a clue

You don’t know what you do to me

Sampe akhirnya… Hayley sadar kalo harapan yang dikasih Josh itu palsu. Tapi perasaan sayangnya udah terlalu besar untuk dihilangkan, udah ga bisa lagi soalnya terlanjur cinta pake banget. Nah, ironisnya, Josh ga ngerti apa-apa tentang perasaan Hayley, dan sama sekali ga merasa kalo dia itu PHP (Pemberi Harapan Palsu).  Mungkin dia pikir, kata-kata manis yang selama ini jadi rayuan ke Hayley Cuma masuk kuping kiri keluar kuping kanannya Hayley. Padahal ngefek banget di Hayley.

Won’t someone stop this song?

So I won’t sing along

Won’t someone stop this song?

So I won’t sing

Hayley berusaha untuk menjauh dari Josh, dengan harapan perasaan itu pergi, dan dia ga perlu mikirin sakitnya ga bisa memiliki Josh. Semua pasti tau lah, namanya kalo sayang sama seseorang, pasti pengen memiliki kan? Bullshit kalo ada yang bilang cinta ga harus memiliki.

I never let love in, so I can keep my heart from hurting

The longer that I live with this idea, the more I sink in

With this 4/4 beat I’m in time with you,

With this 4/4 beat I would die for you

Sebenernya dari dulu Hayley punya prinsip, dia ga mau jatuh cinta terlalu dalem, biar ga sakit hati. Tapi semakin lama dia bermindset kayak gitu, dia jadi semakin ga bisa menghindar dari cinta. Dia lupa kali, kalo cinta itu bisa dateng kapan dan di mana aja tanpa bisa dihindarin. Jadi dia sekarang terjebak cinta, dan kemakan prinsipnya dia sendiri.

I’ve gone too far to come back from here

But you don’t have a clue

You don’t know what you do to me

I’ve gone too far to get over you

And you don’t have a clue

You don’t know what you do to me

Won’t someone stop this song?

So I won’t sing along

Won’t someone stop this song?

So I won’t sing

Your lovesick melody is gonna get the best of me tonight

But you won’t get to me, if I don’t sing

Semua tingkah laku, perbuatan dan kata-kata Josh yang manis (tapi kemungkinan besar cuma PHP), itu semua bikin Hayley terpuruk, down, ga semangat. Hayley pengen klarifikasi apakah Josh bener-bener setega itu Cuma ngasih harapan kosong, atau emang dia sayang sama Hayley? Soalnya inget kan, Hayley pengen milikin Josh? Hayley ga akan tau yang sebenernya kalo dia ga jujur soal perasaannya. Masalahnya, gengsi ga Hayley jujur soal perasaan ke Josh?

It creeps in like a spider that can’t be killed

Although I try and try to

Well, don’t you see I’m falling?

Don’t wanna love you but I do

Perasaan cinta emang dateng tanpa diundang, dan sulit untuk membunuh rasa itu sekuat apapun kita mencoba. Kayak Hayley, ga pengen jatuh cinta, tapi kenyataannya dia terjebak juga.

Your lovesick melody is gonna get the best of me tonight

But you won’t get to me, cause I won’t sing!

Dia pengen Josh ngerti kalo dia rapuh tanpa Josh, tapi Josh ga akan pernah mengerti perasaan Hayley, karna Hayley ga mau ngungkapin perasaannya sampai kapanpun. 

Kalo kalian mau denger lagunya, klik di sini.

Jadi intinya lagu ini menganalogikan istilah “song”( atau dalam bahasa kita artinya lagu) sebagai perasaan nyaman yang timbul dari kedekatan cewek sama cowok yang menggoda salah satu pihak atau keduanya untuk ikut terlarut dalam rasa itu. Makanya pas lirik, “won’t someone stop this song? So I won’t sing along.” Itu menandakan Hayley pengen keluar dari perasaan nyaman itu, biar dia ga terlarut. Iya kalo dari perasaan nyaman itu, kedua pihak sama-sama suka dan ingin saling memiliki. Kalo ga, kan jadi cinta bertepuk sebelah tangan, dan itu –yakin—sakit banget. Jadi sebisa mungkin hindari perasaan itu kalo belum bener-bener pasti respon si dia positif.

Finally, come to the end of post. Mudah-mudahan ga ngantuk ya bacanya. Terlalu panjang untuk sebuah lagu ya? I wish I could cut them into one paragraph. But that was impossible, right? Balik lagi, ini sesi curcol jadi sah-sah aja ya kalo jadinya nyampah gini. Hehehe. Jujur, ini lagu relatable banget sama perasaanku sekarang. Pokok permasalahan galauku sekarang lebih ke karna gengsi sih kayaknya. Masih mending gengsi sih, daripada frontal tapi akhirnya malu. Ya mudah-mudahan habis ini ga di-PHP-in lagi ya aku jadi ga perlu nyanyi lagu ini terus-terusan. Hiks.

ps. Kalo kalian mau denger lagunya, klik di sini. 

So Far So Good

Mathematical Economic Paper Test: My Mood Booster

I’ve promised myself to post onto this blog again after struggling in final exam this semester. Here I come back. I’m nearly in the end of holiday. The reason why I didn’t write from the beginning of this holiday is because I’ve lost my pleasure in reading lately. Social media has changed my life. When I woke up, the first thing I reach every morning is my cell phone. I text my boyfriend and some of my friends to say ‘good morning’. Without waiting the reply, I hit facebook and twitter either to updating statuses or just checking my notifications. If I get bored, I play Scrabble, I now have it in my phone. It really drove me crazy. I used to love that game in PC like mad. After I have it in my phone, I can’t stop holding my phone to play it. Then back to social media whenever I want.

My holiday is just like that. No reading activity anymore. Lack of reading activity affects my writing activity too. I became feeling like not want to write, no pleasure. It is difficult to deliver what’s on my mind. I feel like don’t get used to it anymore like I used to. Plus, I must write in English. Do you know why I made this blog in full-English? I know I’m not an American nor a British, my English is bad. So I think I need to practice, to improve it. At least I will get used to it. Reading English literature is my power. If I don’t read English literature regularly, my English will get worsen and worsen. Like in this post, I’m sorry for my bad English. 

If you read this post, you know that I’m succeed in getting right back up and writing again. I don’t know. Maybe it’s a miracle. Hahaha. I suddenly feel like I have bunch of stories to tell you. And no boundaries between us. I don’t care what people say, I will tell you the real me, without trying so hard to ‘jaga image’ (what is it in English?) ummmm…. Let me think it over first. Hahaha. you guys from Indonesia know what it means.

A month ago, I fight for myself in final exam. It is a special occasion for me as the 30% of my GPA is taken from my final exam grades. You know I want to graduate with cum laude. So I won’t let anyone takes my dreams away. Include myself. I pushed myself up to my limit. Reading the books until I understand each part of them is one of the proofs that I’m keeping my dream real. I don’t care if the books are thick and heavy. I go ahead. 

Fyi, the exam takes 4 days, held in 4 rooms. I was in the 4^th room, with only 4 of my classmates. I sat in the first row, right in front of the visors. I was far away from my 4 classmates. The students around me are people I barely know. So, it is almost impossible for me to cheat. I also didn’t bring my cell phone with me during the test. Even if I did, I definitely didn’t dare to use it. The visors’ eyes were always glued to me! And it was never my intention to do the test with any others’ help. Cheating is not my style! 

Sometimes, the students I barely know ask me the answers of the questions in the test. I am okay to give them help. As long as it didn’t bother me in finishing the test. 

So far so good. I got a good feeling for the result. I’ve worked hard, always prayed, and believe that I would nail the test. My Mathematical Economic mid-semester exam grade which was shown to me at the first day exam really boost my mood. I’ve got 97. Not perfect, but I thought I’ve done my best. I had to finish the Mathematical Economic test in only 30 minutes. It had 9 numbers. So I’ve done it in a little bit hurry, thanks God its result is not bad.

I’m currently waiting for the whole result, how high my GPA is.  Up to now, there is no clarification about it. It’s been a month since the semester ends. I don’t have any idea about when the GPA will be announced. This is my first semester, so I am really a newbie in this university. Oh, please, I can’t wait to see my GPA. 

A couple of days ago, my lecturer posted the Management final exam grade into my class group in facebook. Guess what? I got 96! Yay! Again, it’s not perfect. But I did it myself. I could say that I aced the test. the 91-100 grade will be ‘A’ if it is converted. If I got A in every subjects, my GPA will be 4,00. And cum laude would be much easier in the next semesters! But, I’ll try to be more realistic. Okay, 4,00 is absurd. At least I want to have 3,52 with A and B everywhere. I don’t like C, D, and E (please don’t let me see them).

To be frank, the subject I worry the most is Economic. I never think it’s difficult. But I don’t know why I got E in the mid-exam. Can you imagine? I got E! it’s the worst thing in the world. I was nearly hopeless at that time, wonder what went wrong. It was so embarassing. When I told my friends about it, all they did is just laughed at me. ooooohhh, it freaked me out. :@ I can only hope that my Economic average is at least B. and I work much much much much harder than ever to get the best grade in final exam. Pleasseeee, I don’t want the E anymore!